Monday Mindfulness Minute: Respond more than you react

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"Whenever I wish to move Or to speak, First I shall examine my state of mind, And firmly act in a suitable way. Whenever my mind becomes attached Or angry, I shall not react, nor shall I speak; I shall remain mum and unmoved like a tree." -Awakening the Buddha Within p. 180

What does it mean to be responsible? It’s a word that we’re all told about growing up. I most simply define it as holding up our end of the bargain. We’re responsible for doing tasks at work, being good citizens, providing for our family, etc. 

Two words seem to jump out the more I look at responsibility: response and able. What if responsibility comes down to being able to respond appropriately?

Responding is increasingly tough in a world that seems to be moving quicker and quicker where success is defined by filling up our space to the brim with stuff. It's so much easier to automatically react because space isn't available to make a new decision ("We're a torrent of reactions, and reactions to reactions, one piling in upon the other." How can I help p. 67). I've heard this space described as the magic quarter of a second that enables us to refuse to act habitually and instead find a more loving and compassionate response.

So where do we start this week? As always, we start with the small things. We can start with the fact that it's raining and we have to do something outside, with the car that just cut us off in traffic and we're in a hurry, or even with the fact that the internet page is taking an extra half second to load. Just notice it and be ok with it happening. More often than not we'll see that the greatest response is no response.

As Ram Dass once said, "Compassion simply stated is leaving other people alone." As we develop this space of non-reactivity, we see that the person we leave alone first is ourselves. In our current state, we are literally going insane following all of the reactive movements of the mind. By just noticing and not going with the thoughts (reacting) we show compassion towards ourselves and a loving response to others grows from this self-compassion.

Each time we catch ourselves about to react and stop, it is like a curl at the inner gym that will give us more strength to respond to the bigger happenings in life. If we do this enough we will have the space to see that a response is the most loving reaction we can provide ourselves and others.