Monday Mindfulness Minute: "Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I'm wise, so I'm changing myself."

With the New Year comes a renewed focus on self-growth. Whether we hope to make a more consistent effort at the gym, reduce frivolous spending to achieve our saving goal, or make a concerted effort to put our family first, we know our success will hinge on consistency.

But what fuels consistency? And why does the fuel needed to maintain our resolution seem to run out after only a few weeks?

One of the biggest hidden inhibitors to achieving our goals to start the year, and throughout, is that we absent-mindedly expend our energy trying to control those around us (the "changing the world" part in Rumi's quote above). As Mel Robbinson relays in her new book The Let Them Theory, "Instead of wasting my energy on something I can't control - what others say, think, and do - I poured my energy into what I can control: me. The result? I gained more control over my own life than I ever had before."

Letting them ranges from the small things like letting them not do the dishes or letting them cut you off in traffic, to bigger things like letting your friends not invite you to go out with them or letting your best friend leave you on read via text. As should be apparent, we can't stop them in the first place, so we save our energy by our response being one of acceptance. This doesn't mean we don't respond to them directly eventually, but when/if we need to, we do so in a mindful way where we aren't giving all of our energy.

As we return to the office and to our general flow of life following the Holiday Break, let us let them more—they are going to do what they want to do anyway—and save our breath and energy to invest in our fuel tank to achieve the goals we have set.

Monday Mindfulness Minute: Practice More Than You Preach

“We influence others by what we are rather than by what we say or have.” Eye of the I p. 105

We know by now that what we say and do can be miles apart. We have the best intentions for ourselves and others in thought and sharing, but are we truly practicing what we're preaching?

There is a great story about Gandhi that illustrates how he practiced before he preached. One day he was approached by a mother and her son. The mother was disappointed with her son and how much sugar he consumed, so she pleaded with Gandhi to instruct him to stop eating so much. Pausing, Gandhi asked them to return in a few days.

When they returned a few days later, the mother relayed her request again. This time, Gandhi looked at the son and told him to stop eating so much sugar because it was bad for his health. Perplexed, the mother asked Gandhi what had caused his change of heart from a few days ago. "A few days ago, I had not given up sugar."

While we most certainly want what's best for our loved ones and friends, we know that any advice we give and aren't living comes off as hollow and is ultimately ineffective.

The mind is a tricky place because it easily confuses thinking/talking about something, preaching, with actually doing it. The mind can never take action so it feels that talking about it is its action. Let us pause this week and ask ourselves if we've lived the knowledge we are trying to pass on to others.

Practice more, then we can let our life be our preaching. As Gandhi lived, "My life is my message."

Monday Mindfulness Minute: It's always something

"Most people's lives are cluttered up with things: material things, things to do, things to think about. Their lives are like the history of humanity, which Winston Churchill defined as "one damn thing after another." A New Earth p. 227

"It's always something!!!" How many times have we said this? How many times this week have we said this? How many times today have we said this? How often do we hear others say it? 

We plan out our days/weeks/months/years and the inevitable disruption occurs. It's always something.  

The dog poops on the floor. It's always something.  

The car gets a flat tire on our way to the important meeting. It's always something.  

The kid gets sick right before vacation. It's always something.  

We must consider how we say, "It's always something." Do we say it in a relaxed and calm tone, or is it a desperate plea for the unexpected thing that just happened to get resolved as quickly as possible? I know for me it's usually the latter.  

But isn't that the joy of living life? It's literally always something. Every day new things are happening. Every day we get to meet new people. Every day we set out a plan and get to figure out what to do when it inevitably doesn't go to plan. Is there a way we can appreciate it always being something instead of viewing it as a pain?  

In the situation where the dog poops on the floor are we able to be grateful to even have a dog and have the opportunity to learn about unconditional love?

You get a flat tire. How many people in this world aren't able to drive cars? How far has that tire brought you already? 

How fortunate are you to have a child to begin with? 

What do we want it to be instead of always something? Always nothing? What if those somethings are where we experience learning and growth? What if our freedom is found in those somethings? How alive would it feel if that "something" brought an ecstatic feeling of love and mystery instead of dread?

Our opportunity this week is to catch when we or others say "it's always something." This doesn't mean when we hear someone else say it we preach to them that they should be grateful ("Idiot, of course it's always something. What else would it be?). Instead, we can view this as a gift that has been presented to us to remember to embrace unexpected and uncomfortable situations. It's a beautiful reminder that can pull us from our day-to-day melodramas to remind us to appreciate the miracle of being alive on this planet experiencing something at all.