Wednesday Whiteboard Quote - February 25

"Coming from a giving place means you aren't waiting to receive."

We hold the door for someone and get slighted when they don't say thank you or acknowledge us.

We give a friend a birthday present and feel disappointed when they don't reach out to us on ours.

We are always the friend who reaches out first, and we get frustrated that nobody ever initiates with us.

As the Stoics would say, looking for something in return is chasing the third thing. The first is you doing something for someone, the second is them receiving it, and the third is when we chase a certain response from them. Chasing the third thing is what transforms an act of selflessness, giving without looking for anything in return, into a prison.

"Nobody ever says thank you anymore..."

"I must not be memorable enough for them to know my birthday..."

"Nobody must like me since they never reach out first..."

We must seriously ask ourselves whether our giving is genuine or only because we are looking for something in return. Giving is easy and a joy when we don't need anything from it.

Wednesday Whiteboard Quote - February 18

"I've told people something that sounds a little cruel. Everyone should experience temporary blindness, to see how our vision can give us such hangups, how we judge and condemn, and what that does to us all. Like that [blind] boy with the birthday cake. There was a blind girl that he had fallen for. Then someone said she was unattractive. He stopped seeing her. It brought tears to my eyes. He'd been seeing fine." How Can I Help p. 144-145

It's easy to get trapped in a way of seeing the world that is based entirely on what we've learned from others. Have you felt the limited, judgmental nature of living that way? It's within our power to become aware of and remove the dirty film that covers our seeing, revealing insights we had never considered.

Wednesday Whiteboard Quote - February 11

"The truth knocks on the door and you say, "Go away, I'm looking for the truth," and so it goes away. Puzzling." Zen and the Art of Motorcyle Maintenance

I met one of my best friends while in New York City with the Mets. The thing is, I really disliked him at first. Dislike to the point that I repeatedly asked my bosses (Jake and Max) to move me to a different part of the office to get away from him (I later found out he was making the same request).

That rocky start has since evolved into a friendship that, though separated by multiple states and hundreds of miles, has included a standing Sunday call for the last 3 years, during which we've probably missed only a handful of Sundays chatting for an hour or two (or three). It's insane to think we could have ended up on such solid ground after such a shaky start.

I wanted Howie to go away, just like we want the problems, the difficult conversations, or the seemingly unsolvable problems to go away. But each of these is in front of us to show us a new truth. Lucky for us, the truth is a persistent friend. As much as we may try to push it away or lock it out, its unconditional nature requires it to return once more to knock. We can change jobs or change where we live, or who we are married to, or date, or how we look, and it will still, like the annoying neighbor who won't leave us alone, show up again and again.

This is not something to fear, but something to be grateful for.

What truth is knocking on your door? Are you going to ignore the constant knocking you feel deep inside, or will you harness the courage to approach the door and sit with whatever truth is there? I learned to sit with Howie, and it paid dividends in a lifelong friendship of which we may only have a few during our brief stint on earth.

Listen to what truth is knocking and open the door. If you ever feel overwhelmed by what's knocking, I recommend reading "The Guest House" by Rumi.